Monday, April 28, 2008

I didn't laugh when I was watching the Draft this year...

Okay, idiocy aside, I really enjoyed sitting on my can all day Saturday and doing nothing but prognosticate, peruse, praise, and percolate. I was particularly excited when I saw that the Cowboys drafted Martellus Bennett, which at the time it occurred I let out an exclamatory "Yeah!" in the middle of a nice seafood restaurant (though there may have been a choice expletive in front of the "yeah"). I would have liked to see the Cowboys draft a receiver in the 2nd round, when it seemed like every team in the NFL was just making a mad run on them, but overall I was pretty satisfied by what the Cowboys came away with for the two days.

And...the Mavericks make me want to die. Freaking sports blue balls again.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Bryant Gumbel ousted

See ya sucka

Thank the heavens we won't have to listen to that dingus' play-by-play next year, as his version of sports broadcasting often recounts the exploits of such NFL greats as Al Gore and Rick Romo (Gumbel's butchered versions of 49ers running back Frank Gore, and Cowboys QB Tony Romo). I love the quote:

"But we've agreed that we'd all be better served going in different directions."

Translation: The NFL Network realized I was the most ridiculous play-by-play guy in the history of sports broadcasting, and canned me. I am a total loser, and need to stay as far away from the NFL as is humanly possible.

Now if TNT will just fire Craig Sager ("I'm here talking with Dick Nowitski", yeah, that guy), my sports soul will be at peace.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I uttered this comment last night while conversing, regarding moving to a different place next fall:

"If I move, then I will be closer to some different places."

A truly brilliant deduction.